I'm pretty sure I occupy earth, I'm pretty sure Mr. Parker, Jr. occupies earth, I don't know, I've never seen him...yet his earth is so foreign and I am so fascinated.
Sunday, May 19, 2013
The Twitter Stream-of-Consciousness of the day: Robert Parker, again, go figure.
(read from the bottom up.)
I'm pretty sure I occupy earth, I'm pretty sure Mr. Parker, Jr. occupies earth, I don't know, I've never seen him...yet his earth is so foreign and I am so fascinated.
I'm pretty sure I occupy earth, I'm pretty sure Mr. Parker, Jr. occupies earth, I don't know, I've never seen him...yet his earth is so foreign and I am so fascinated.
Friday, May 17, 2013
my pathetic life as a troglodyte.
I'm certain there must be many troglodytes in the world. I wouldn't know - nor would they - we are all in caves.
I enjoy my particular cave, The Cave. It's quiet, it's dark, and that about covers it. Sometimes people come in. I let them. There are about 200 of them, maybe a little more, I've never counted. They are malleable. They evolve and devolve, expand and contract.
The Cave is finite.
But people who come into The Cave are overwhelmingly good and generous and I want them to stay here. That is my test as a troglodyte. I need to figure out how my finite Cave can expand and contract to the whims of the people. Sometimes I get it right, and it makes me very happy.
This is a 12-case locker. Yesterday the guy in it came in to move out. He had only a few cases in it, it was up for renewal, he was thinking maybe it was time to go.
So he could keep his wine stored here we ultimately moved him into The Manager's Locker, the experimental and so far successful communal locker that rents by the shelf so even a few cases of wine can be properly cared for. I am the only one with a key. I very uncomfortably stand over your shoulder watching your every move to be sure you keep your mitts to your own shelf. At $66/shelf/year, it's a bargain. And because it exists someone who came here to leave instead left here staying.
Today, a new guy came in and moved into the 12-case. He came in because someone already here recommended he do so. In 24-hours, there are now two people here instead of one less. And I am satisfied.
I enjoy my particular cave, The Cave. It's quiet, it's dark, and that about covers it. Sometimes people come in. I let them. There are about 200 of them, maybe a little more, I've never counted. They are malleable. They evolve and devolve, expand and contract.
The Cave is finite.
But people who come into The Cave are overwhelmingly good and generous and I want them to stay here. That is my test as a troglodyte. I need to figure out how my finite Cave can expand and contract to the whims of the people. Sometimes I get it right, and it makes me very happy.
This is a 12-case locker. Yesterday the guy in it came in to move out. He had only a few cases in it, it was up for renewal, he was thinking maybe it was time to go. So he could keep his wine stored here we ultimately moved him into The Manager's Locker, the experimental and so far successful communal locker that rents by the shelf so even a few cases of wine can be properly cared for. I am the only one with a key. I very uncomfortably stand over your shoulder watching your every move to be sure you keep your mitts to your own shelf. At $66/shelf/year, it's a bargain. And because it exists someone who came here to leave instead left here staying.
Today, a new guy came in and moved into the 12-case. He came in because someone already here recommended he do so. In 24-hours, there are now two people here instead of one less. And I am satisfied.
Thursday, May 9, 2013
Joe Burns dustpan.
It's been awhile since I've been in The Cave @ Nite.
The official Cave policy is a level of cleanliness not too high so as not to raise the level of expectation. About two months ago a good sweep was due, but not until your very tolerant troglodyte can't take it anymore will that actually happen. That actually was tonight.
The Cave: stutters and meanders and goes into fits of deep sleep and then surprises and even challenges, all with very little pattern. But there are a few.
Spring and fall are shipping season. January and June are busiest; January I suspect because of New Years resolutions, June because the heat kicks in and panic ensues. When the weather is cold aisle C in the Bordeaux room gets warmer by a degree or two; when it's hot it gets colder by degree or two. (But it never gets above 58.) This seems backwards to me, but there it is. When you see a ladder hovering around aisle C, it's because your obedient troglodyte is constantly adjusting temperatures to the whims of a cantankerous aisle.
Over the years I've also learned that the simple act of answering the phone is the single greatest contribution to increased business.
It takes little more than an hour to sweep a Cave. Today I had the brooms poised and ready to go - there are two, one broad for the aisles and one small for the corners + one entirely useless dustpan.
The handle of the dustpan is a pain-in-the-Cave. It's broken, old, and doesn't remain vertical. I could get a new dustpan for like $11, but truth is I can't throw the dustpan out because on it is a piece of duct tape with the writing, 'Joe Burns.' Joe was The Cave's first emcee, widely and fondly remembered, a bundle of energy who died way too young. (Joe's wife worked for Philippe's in DTLA. She died only about a year or so ago.) I hear many vigorous stories about Joe, never an unkind word. That he added the tape with his name on it leads me to believe there may have been some competition for this dustpan, enough so that he felt it necessary to lay claim on this very valuable bit of property. And so Joe's dustpan remains.
But it got busy today and then I got a phone call for a new locker to be rented and the brooms remained poised. So I came down tonight to finish the task minus interruption, and that gave me a chance to spend some time in The Cave minus...interruption. This is a good thing, it keeps me in touch with here, the nooks and crannies of here, the maze of here, the sounds of here, the details of here. I look at patterns on the floor and wonder what used to be anchored there almost 90 years ago. Who danced on this floor, who sat at this bar, who ate at these tables? And I get to weave through it all with Joe Burns dustpan.
A privilege, to listen to a Cave uninterrupted. Happy Midnight.
The official Cave policy is a level of cleanliness not too high so as not to raise the level of expectation. About two months ago a good sweep was due, but not until your very tolerant troglodyte can't take it anymore will that actually happen. That actually was tonight.
The Cave: stutters and meanders and goes into fits of deep sleep and then surprises and even challenges, all with very little pattern. But there are a few.
Spring and fall are shipping season. January and June are busiest; January I suspect because of New Years resolutions, June because the heat kicks in and panic ensues. When the weather is cold aisle C in the Bordeaux room gets warmer by a degree or two; when it's hot it gets colder by degree or two. (But it never gets above 58.) This seems backwards to me, but there it is. When you see a ladder hovering around aisle C, it's because your obedient troglodyte is constantly adjusting temperatures to the whims of a cantankerous aisle.
Over the years I've also learned that the simple act of answering the phone is the single greatest contribution to increased business.
It takes little more than an hour to sweep a Cave. Today I had the brooms poised and ready to go - there are two, one broad for the aisles and one small for the corners + one entirely useless dustpan.
The handle of the dustpan is a pain-in-the-Cave. It's broken, old, and doesn't remain vertical. I could get a new dustpan for like $11, but truth is I can't throw the dustpan out because on it is a piece of duct tape with the writing, 'Joe Burns.' Joe was The Cave's first emcee, widely and fondly remembered, a bundle of energy who died way too young. (Joe's wife worked for Philippe's in DTLA. She died only about a year or so ago.) I hear many vigorous stories about Joe, never an unkind word. That he added the tape with his name on it leads me to believe there may have been some competition for this dustpan, enough so that he felt it necessary to lay claim on this very valuable bit of property. And so Joe's dustpan remains.But it got busy today and then I got a phone call for a new locker to be rented and the brooms remained poised. So I came down tonight to finish the task minus interruption, and that gave me a chance to spend some time in The Cave minus...interruption. This is a good thing, it keeps me in touch with here, the nooks and crannies of here, the maze of here, the sounds of here, the details of here. I look at patterns on the floor and wonder what used to be anchored there almost 90 years ago. Who danced on this floor, who sat at this bar, who ate at these tables? And I get to weave through it all with Joe Burns dustpan.
A privilege, to listen to a Cave uninterrupted. Happy Midnight.
Thursday, April 25, 2013
2007 Hubert Weber "Vineyard Selection" Malbec Mendoza.
Max gives me wine, I never get the wine, I send him condolence cards for the wine he's wasted on this pathetic troglodyte. I 'm afraid to drink Max's wine.
Then he gave me this, his pet project, 2007 Hubert Weber Malbec. I opened it this past weekend. This wine: was a revelation. This wine was an intelligent mystery of hushed tones lingering in dark corners. Many amazing wines I've been privileged to experience, they were self-contained stories that I didn't necessarily need to pursue. This is the first bottle of wine that, when done, I thought "I need to do that again." Entirely satisfying and complete while still full of secrets only hinted at. I need to know those secrets.
This is Freddy. He works here. I adore him, look at the pose, how could you not?
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On day three of the wine (and also on my day off) we all ended up in The Cave to fix some crumbling floor. I figure stretching the wine into a third day was flirting with danger, so while working on the floor Freddy and I killed the bottle, passing it back and forth, taking swigs. It was fantastic.
Here's a quote from Eric Asimov's book, How to Love Wine, which I just finished. Good book for confused, freighted, overwhelmed newbies, it'll talk you down off the edge. The quote is from wine importer (no longer on earth) Joe Dressner.
Sunday, April 21, 2013
The Twitter Stream-of-Consciousness of the day: Robert Parker
(click on image to enlarge, I think, I have it set to XL.)
Read from the bottom up; the transitions from the fourth to the fifth tweet and the seventh to the eighth tweet are just great!
Read from the bottom up; the transitions from the fourth to the fifth tweet and the seventh to the eighth tweet are just great!
Sunday, April 7, 2013
A Whole Lotta Links.
Bits of possible interest around the web in no particular order.
Happy National Beer Day!
Because it's National Beer Day (isn't every day?), here's an article in the LA Times summarizing Los Angeles brewers' hoppy beers for spring. (Hoppy...Easter...spring...get it?)
After drinking all that beer, you might be inspired to do this, a beer-cap bathroom floor. Generally not a fan of frat-craft, this one's kind of cool.
The Atwater Village Beer, Wine, and Food Festival. Sunday, April 28. Beer, wine, food: pretty much sells itself.
This is the website for Vagabond Grillyard. (They don't even need a whole website, just that picture, kudos to their art director.) This is the great write up they recently got in LA Weekly. You can enjoy some Vagabond Grillyard every Tuesday and Wednesday night here in Glendale at The Famous on Brand.
Because Glendale is such a hip-n-happenin watering hole these days, here's another LA Weekly nod to Neat. It's a bar.
24 Funny Wine Quotes. Some are just quotes.
Wine Buzzword of the Week: Beaujolais
Eric Asimov
Neal Rosenthal
Lastly, from the the literary HL Menken, an essay originally published in Liberty Magazine January 12, 1935. "How to Drink Like a Gentleman." This one maybe should have gone first.
*HL Menken fun fact: It was Menken who dubbed the Scopes Trial "The Monkey Trial." The trial began July 10, 1925, the same day The Hotel Glendale held its opening Gala party.
Cheers.
Happy National Beer Day!
Because it's National Beer Day (isn't every day?), here's an article in the LA Times summarizing Los Angeles brewers' hoppy beers for spring. (Hoppy...Easter...spring...get it?)
After drinking all that beer, you might be inspired to do this, a beer-cap bathroom floor. Generally not a fan of frat-craft, this one's kind of cool.
The Atwater Village Beer, Wine, and Food Festival. Sunday, April 28. Beer, wine, food: pretty much sells itself.
This is the website for Vagabond Grillyard. (They don't even need a whole website, just that picture, kudos to their art director.) This is the great write up they recently got in LA Weekly. You can enjoy some Vagabond Grillyard every Tuesday and Wednesday night here in Glendale at The Famous on Brand.
Because Glendale is such a hip-n-happenin watering hole these days, here's another LA Weekly nod to Neat. It's a bar.
24 Funny Wine Quotes. Some are just quotes.
Wine Buzzword of the Week: Beaujolais
Eric Asimov
Neal Rosenthal
Lastly, from the the literary HL Menken, an essay originally published in Liberty Magazine January 12, 1935. "How to Drink Like a Gentleman." This one maybe should have gone first.
*HL Menken fun fact: It was Menken who dubbed the Scopes Trial "The Monkey Trial." The trial began July 10, 1925, the same day The Hotel Glendale held its opening Gala party.
Cheers.
Thursday, April 4, 2013
Plonk Pork.
Last December began The Great Cave Plonk-a-thon, an effort to re-purpose wine in various stages towards plonk-hood. Here is an update on that effort.
we began with all this.
We now have only this. AND IT'S ALL FREE.
Recently, someone came in to try The Famous Cave Plonk Pork Recipe. And though that's covered in the earlier post, let's give it another go.
1. Buy something pork-like. Pork shank or pork butt-that's-actually-the-shoulder is good.
2. (I often skip this step, but all the good cooks are doing it.) Brown on all sides.
3. Pour in a whole bottle of Cave Plonk. Add a bunch of tasty other stuff to it. Cover it, and put it in the oven at 300 degrees. Sometimes go in there and baste the pork.
It's done in about six hours, or when you stick a fork in it and the meat falls off the bone like soft butter. Any sooner, and you're cheating yourself of very heavenly things.
Take the meat out to rest before forking it.
Bonus round: remove all the tasty bits.
Further strain the tasty bits.
Put the liquid gold back into the pan and reduce it on the stove. Add some mushrooms and finish it with a bit-o-butter.
Someone brave enough to try this recipe and take some FREE WINE-er-PLONK to do so sent in some pictures of the results.
"I made plonk pork. I'm going to have to ask you some more questions about your method, but I already ate the plonk pork, plus a reduction with mushrooms, for lunch today (see photo) and it was somewhere between sinful and totally obscenely good. It's AWESOME."
Also came this photo of the full moon. I am certain this was Plonk Pork inspired, it stands to follow, and am pretty sure all the alcohol has cooked out of the meal by this point. Pretty sure.
I know you are doubting The Plonk, afterall, isn't the wine you cook with supposed to be as good as the wine you'd drink? Oh, no. The Plonk, I declare, adds a needed acidity to balance the fat, and also a unique, not at all unappealing edge to the flavor profile.
Embrace the Plonk! Come get your free Plonk! It's FREE.
we began with all this.
Recently, someone came in to try The Famous Cave Plonk Pork Recipe. And though that's covered in the earlier post, let's give it another go.
 |
| http://www.foodsubs.com |
1. Buy something pork-like. Pork shank or pork butt-that's-actually-the-shoulder is good.
 |
| http://cabinetstew.com |
2. (I often skip this step, but all the good cooks are doing it.) Brown on all sides.
Take the meat out to rest before forking it.
Bonus round: remove all the tasty bits.
Further strain the tasty bits.
Put the liquid gold back into the pan and reduce it on the stove. Add some mushrooms and finish it with a bit-o-butter.
Someone brave enough to try this recipe and take some FREE WINE-er-PLONK to do so sent in some pictures of the results.
"I made plonk pork. I'm going to have to ask you some more questions about your method, but I already ate the plonk pork, plus a reduction with mushrooms, for lunch today (see photo) and it was somewhere between sinful and totally obscenely good. It's AWESOME."
Also came this photo of the full moon. I am certain this was Plonk Pork inspired, it stands to follow, and am pretty sure all the alcohol has cooked out of the meal by this point. Pretty sure.
I know you are doubting The Plonk, afterall, isn't the wine you cook with supposed to be as good as the wine you'd drink? Oh, no. The Plonk, I declare, adds a needed acidity to balance the fat, and also a unique, not at all unappealing edge to the flavor profile.
Embrace the Plonk! Come get your free Plonk! It's FREE.
Sunday, March 31, 2013
Our hoppingest Easter ever.
Quite the busy day today, always a pleasure to meet the need. These should cover the array of the day.
Thursday, March 21, 2013
Do NOT mess with Robert Parker.
(You can catch up on the details of the lawsuit here.)
Dear Mr. Parker, Jr.
All in good fun, mostly mine; please don't hurt me.
Sincerely,
troglodyte.
Dear Mr. Parker, Jr.
All in good fun, mostly mine; please don't hurt me.
Sincerely,
troglodyte.
Sunday, March 17, 2013
Guinness porn.
Also.
The Hot Knives Car Bomb Cakes recipe. "The gimmick was simple: take the three booze components of an Irish car bomb (whiskey, Guinness and Bailey’s Irish cream) and put them all on one plate." Sounds as frightening as the real thing.
131 Guinness Ads.
Wednesday, March 13, 2013
goodbye, great story.
About six months ago I got a phone call inquiring about wine storage. What a coincidence, we are a wine storage facility and do this very thing. I asked the standard first question: "About how many cases do you have?"
"One bottle."
I did what any unprofessional troglodyte would do, I laughed brazenly.
"Ahhahahahahahahahahahahha...one bottle?!?!...ah-hahahahahahahhaahhahaha!"
Go figure, he came in anyway, one bottle in hand which I put in a Charles Shaw box in case of earthquake and then in the Manager's Locker for six months. $32.
Today the gentleman came in to take his bottle home. His six month lease was up for renewal but he said his father was in town and would open it for him, he'd probably appreciate it more.
1999 Chateau Mouton Rothschild, yes, I think his dad will like that.
"One bottle."
I did what any unprofessional troglodyte would do, I laughed brazenly.
"Ahhahahahahahahahahahahha...one bottle?!?!...ah-hahahahahahahhaahhahaha!"
Go figure, he came in anyway, one bottle in hand which I put in a Charles Shaw box in case of earthquake and then in the Manager's Locker for six months. $32.
Today the gentleman came in to take his bottle home. His six month lease was up for renewal but he said his father was in town and would open it for him, he'd probably appreciate it more.
1999 Chateau Mouton Rothschild, yes, I think his dad will like that.
Sunday, March 10, 2013
Sunday Soup
In celebration of Sunday, in Cave time known as Friday, I present to you Miscellaneous Day. It could also be called Random Leftover Things. Onward!
1. Today is day one of daylight saving which also marks the season of an old Cave tradition: the phone mysteriously cutting out every day at 2:42 pm only to return to service at 2:44. Caller beware, I am NOT hanging up on you.
2. Based on a Valentine's Day tweet by Robert Parker, The Cave - in good fun and with a minor dash of peeve - has declared open season on Robert Parker. Here's today's entree, "Separated at Birth."
3. The Cave is now on Twitter. On it are tweets like "@CaveWineStorage is 'atwitter' with sawing and drilling. 2 new tenants are here installing shelves in their lockers. No lost fingers yet!"
Riveting stuff!
However, did you also know The Cave has a speakeasy account on Twitter? A little less censored, were you following that account you'd be privy to all the hush-hush goings on around here, about which I officially know nothing. You'd also get the Robert Parker backstory. #askmeorfindtheclues.
4. Hey, let's talk some more about those exciting shelves! Here's the most basic and secure shelves you can put in - 2 x 4 brackets with added vertical supports to bear the weight of the load and a simple cut piece of plywood, 5/8 or 3/4.
These shelves were installed the same day by a cabinet maker, and all he put in was a few pegs and wedges. When I expressed doubt that this would hold, he demonstrated its strength by sitting on the shelf. He's still in there. Just kidding.
5. These are proper wine glasses.
6. May 14, 1932. Washington DC. Sure it was prohibition, but I walk around with this sign every day, what's my excuse?
1. Today is day one of daylight saving which also marks the season of an old Cave tradition: the phone mysteriously cutting out every day at 2:42 pm only to return to service at 2:44. Caller beware, I am NOT hanging up on you.
2. Based on a Valentine's Day tweet by Robert Parker, The Cave - in good fun and with a minor dash of peeve - has declared open season on Robert Parker. Here's today's entree, "Separated at Birth."
3. The Cave is now on Twitter. On it are tweets like "
Riveting stuff!
However, did you also know The Cave has a speakeasy account on Twitter? A little less censored, were you following that account you'd be privy to all the hush-hush goings on around here, about which I officially know nothing. You'd also get the Robert Parker backstory. #askmeorfindtheclues.
4. Hey, let's talk some more about those exciting shelves! Here's the most basic and secure shelves you can put in - 2 x 4 brackets with added vertical supports to bear the weight of the load and a simple cut piece of plywood, 5/8 or 3/4.
These shelves were installed the same day by a cabinet maker, and all he put in was a few pegs and wedges. When I expressed doubt that this would hold, he demonstrated its strength by sitting on the shelf. He's still in there. Just kidding.
 |
| http://www.2basnob.com |
 |
| http://www.2basnob.com |
5. These are proper wine glasses.
These are our wine glasses.
After the wine emergency earlier this week, a smattering of samplings and post-dish washing, I looked at the drying glassware and was forced to acknowledge that everything said about our glassware is true, not a bit of it is praiseworthy, trust me. These are original Cave glasses and I can't not have them here. They're the mutts of glassware and they're staying. In five years I've only broken one glass. However, in the spirit of compromise, I'll try harder.
6. May 14, 1932. Washington DC. Sure it was prohibition, but I walk around with this sign every day, what's my excuse?
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