Friday, November 19, 2010

The best chocolate wine ever?

If you've been paying attention at all it may seem hard to believe this troglodyte has standards. That's right, the same Cave-dweller who so carelessly combines some kind of 1994 French wine with a white pizza has standards, a paragon in the sand that separates the occasionally misguided but civil none-the-less from the mere amateur, and today's line is this:

This was sent to me from a concerned citizen with the query,"Get much of this at the Cave?" As a matter of fact I'd never heard of it, and after looking at this picture for a very long and astonished time, I emailed back to ask where she saw it. At Walgreens in Ft. Lauderdale. Oh, well, when you put it that way now I understand.

Sometimes, it turns out, low culture is so beautifully low it is suddenly lowbrow no longer. ChocoVine by itself, not doing too well. ChocoVine + Walgreens + Ft. Lauderdale, let the metamorphosis begin.

ChocoVine. The great taste of Dutch chocolate and fine red wine. (The website clarifies it as cabernet.) I imagine this to taste exactly how this reviewer on describes it. "Terrible. Absolutely and indescribably awful. Take the worst cabernet you can find. Pour a bottle of Yoohoo into it. You, my friend, have just made your own Chocovine." But other people really like it, and one enterprising person decided it tasted better added to her latte.

Walgreens. Walgreens is a drugstore and we all know drugstores are where one goes when seeking out the finer wines.

Ft. Lauderdale. I've never been to Ft. Lauderdale, it's way down there, but I drove to Cocoa Beach once, and all the way down the 95 the most prevalent sign read, "Beer, Bait, and Guns." I don't know, maybe I'm just making that up, but at least this brilliant Floridian saw the future when he did a food pairing of Fluffernutter and ChocoVine. And the future is bright indeed.

By now you're wondering where you can get your hands on this stuff, just in time for the holidays. ChocoVine with yam and marshmallow casserole! ChocoVine and Fruitcake! ChocoVine Nog! Here. 'Nuff said.