Part 1: The Calendar of National Food Holiday Diet, or how to die very quickly.

If you're thinking maybe you no longer wish to live, might I suggest the National Food Holiday Diet.  The Diet is that every day you have to eat the food being honored on that day.  You will be dead within a year, probably within a week. 

This is the week of May 12, if you even get there. 

These are two weeks in July.  How did Caviar get in there, in the middle of that mess?  It doesn't matter, you won't live long enough to find out.

 May 11 and October 25 are a little lazy in an unspecific way, the energy is already waning.

 By September, vegetable matter makes an appearance, three whole days worth. 
  

I would only want to make it to October 4th.   A day of genius and insight, it's probably too late in the year.