Saturday, July 23, 2016

The Cave Guestbook.

It's easy, really.  You come in, you sign in, you do your thing, you sign out, you leave. 

The sign-in book existed when I came into this job.  It was a yellow legal pad.  It was divided into five columns: Date, Locker Number, Name, Time In, and Time Out. Nice old school way to keep track of things.  Very helpful that one time a really honest guy reported a bottle of wine sitting in the middle of the aisle.  All I had to do was look on the guest pad to see who'd been in that day, and VOILA!  Mystery solved!

In 2010, the legal pad was replaced by a Mead-like Composition book, but with recycled paper.  Ever Forward! Well, actually Ever Forward! would be something digital, but we like to keep a reverent bit of old school going.  It took about 6 years: the current guest book recently saw its last, dog-eared page.

There were MANY times when, while drawing four lines with the ruler to make the five columns, I wanted to shake things up a bit, like draw the lines at a diagonal,   or skip a line, or have no lines, or shake up the order of the columns.  Hilarity would ensue!  Okay, most likely not, so 200 times I ruled 5 straight lines in good order.

I may have abstained from guest book fun and games, but not everyone did.  Below is one gentleman's entire list of aliases entered into our guest book, a one-time joke become a well-honed routine. He'd saddle up to the guest book after his withdrawal/deposit, sometimes in lengthy consideration, other times with swift inspiration. I was not allowed to look at it until after he left.  It never disappointed. 

The list:

Bozo Jones
Lee Dickman IV
Boo Dugan, in locker #JRTX3
Peter Paul Blues, locker Q1
Dutch Denmark
Bob the Gambler
Todd Ditts, Jr.
Rebel Lee Jones
Jude Dickes
Horus Cohen
Billy Bob Titus, IV
Buzz Supken
Big Barnyard Stootz
Buzz Smithereen
Sam Sperling IV
Bud Templeton

Odd Smith
Bobs Fischler
Ralph Tummy
Boyd Stitts
Wild Man Noozy
Jack A'Holeski
Carlitos Gardenberg  IV

Franz Kafkasky

Now we have a new guest book.  It's spiral bound, much cleaner in presentation.  First entry in it?  Justin.  

...but give it time.