I was catching up on my airplane shopping, because apparently we can't function too far from an actual mall, no, thank god for Sky Mall - where I saw this thing. It's a wine -aging accelerator. Here's part of the description:
"Enjoy the delicious flavor of 10 years of aging in just a few seconds
Aging accelerators help recapture the exquisite taste of nature and duplicate the smooth, mellow flavor generated by years of traditional slow aging."
I was like, "Really?"
So I started poking around the internet earlier, and it turns out there are a host of gadgets that promise to take your cheap, young floozy wine and in a matter of minutes and dollars turn it into something respectable and drinkable and probably French. This particular one uses magnets to realign the wine particles the way aging does.
There's a crystal wand, ultrasonic waves, and the Clef du Vin that can age your wine five years in five seconds.
Right about this time I thought, I'm not sure I care about all this enough to continue. It started feeling like I was putting a serious chunk of time into researching which is better, a Slanket or a Snuggie? 'Nuff said.