Saturday, April 7, 2012

The snootiest wine store ever, part 2.

This is the ingredients list for Wonder Bread Classic. It actually took me a bit of work to find this. It was on Wal (2-fer.)

Enriched Wheat Flour [Flour, Barley Malt, Ferrous Sulfate (Iron), "B" Vitamins (Niacin, Thiamine Mononitrate (B1), Riboflavin (B2), Folic Acid)], Water, Sweetener (High Fructose Corn Syrup Or Sugar), Yeast, Contains 2% Or Less Of: Calcium Sulfate, Wheat Gluten, Soybean Oil, Salt, Dough Conditioners (May Contain: Mono And Diglycerides, Sodium Stearoyl Lactylate, Dicalcium Phosphate, Monocalcium Phosphate, Calcium Carbonate, Ammonium Sulfate, Ammonium Chloride And/Or Diammonium Phosphate), Whey, Cornstarch, Wheat Starch, Enzymes, Calcium Propionate (To Retain Freshness), Soy Lecithin. Contains: Wheat, Milk And Soybeans.

I haven't eaten Wonder Bread in a really long time, but I did when I was a kid, with Fluff, and it was crazy good. Here's the ingredients for Fluff: corn syrup, sugar syrup, vanilla flavor, and egg whites.

Wonder Bread + Fluff = MMMMM! Like living and dying in a Will Cotton painting!

In January 2011, The Garagiste posted an entry where he listed over 100 possible wine additives. In this post he asks,"Why do we need so many accepted potential ingredients in the winemaking process? Whatever happened to grapes, natural yeast and a bit of sulfur?" Agreed!

I went to Zachy's in the first place because I happened to be visiting with someone who enjoyed a glass of wine a day, promptly at 5p.m. While I admired the hour, the wine gave me pause. I know it's a bargain at five or six bucks a bottle, but really? Because the whole point of Wine Spelunking for the 99% is you can have really good wine for not a whole lot more.

The truth is, this might be a very good wine, I've never tried it, how would I know? Was it I who was being snooty? So what if it's owned by Ernest and Julio Gallo, and that there's about a hundred other brands they own including Thunderbird and Bartles and Jaymes. Isn't Wonder Bread and Fluff just heavenly?

"Barefoot California wines are perfect as everyday dinner wines for wine connoisseurs of all levels of experience. The wines are affordable, varietally correct, soft and approachable and are immediately ready to drink off the shelf."
So this weekend, The Cave is sponsored by Barefoot Merlot. I don't think it has a vintage. It pours raspberry red, has an oddly isopropyl bouquet, a tangy, easy mouth feel, but lacks any ... interest. Also, there's a weirdness to it, an off-flavor, that I can't put my finger on. A hundred different additives, or my own imagination? Clearly I've been spoiled.

Also clear: of course there are hundreds of affordable wines one can consume with ease of both palate and wallet. Of course Wonder Bread and Fluff is yummy... but in an entirely scary kind of way.
Finding the sweet spot between Zachy's and 2-Buck Chuck continues.